they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
