i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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