the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
