You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
