Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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