I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
