if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
