I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I am one with the molecules
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
