then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
