C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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