everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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