I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
