What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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