"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
