we have officially lost it.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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