Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize