He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I party with great urgency now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
