The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
