Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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