He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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