My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
