You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Small penises have feelings too.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
