i just had sex bonerless
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
