I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
