these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize