You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
