just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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