i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
