When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize