Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
