I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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