there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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