: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so much tequila, so little girl.
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