their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You can't special order awesome
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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