Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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