turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Im part way to drunk.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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