yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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