My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
