Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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