So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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