He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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