Whod you bang
Jerry, you need to find god
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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