Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
