So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
