like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
