So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
