She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
