they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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