I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
