I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
