White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
