i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
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