Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize