i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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