i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
