What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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