I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
