you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
