Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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