i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize