my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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