My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
