i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
