ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
