You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
