a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
