I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize