wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
