names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
