He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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