Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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