ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
