i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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