I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
we're so committed to being not committed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
