Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
