He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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