just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
